David did not grow up like other boys. He was always a victim of ridicule and jealousy. Somehow, some people just hated him, and for no reason at all. He once told me that when he was a kid, he didn't like himself at all. Even though he was brought up with good manners and was well-behaved all the time, his school mates just could not resist making a mockery of him.
It was only until when he was in secondary school that he found some good friends who provided some `protection' against those `evil' people. They were not important to him, David told me. David is the type who is very self-involved. One thing he has a fascination for is fantasy fiction. Gods, fairies, demons and ghosts .... these are the stories that captivate him.
Being a science student in his secondary school years, he knew very well it was a form of escapism and being taunted every so often, it was a good way for him to bury himself in the fantasy world.
It has always fascinated him how mediums could predict the future, cure sickness and find lost items. They are the `know-all' and people would follow their instructions to the minute details. David followed him mother to some of the sessions and although he didn't know what they were talking about, he was fascinated with it.
Some of these deities did have a strong influence on David's life..... one of whom is `Hua Kwang', the guardian deity of the Chinese Opera troupes. Chinese opera troupes have always been something of a mystery. We see them on stage all dressed up and singing things we don't understand but it has a totally different world of its own.
According to David, when these troupes have to do their performance on a new stage, they have perform a cleansing ritual. In this ritual, one of the actors has to dress up as `Hua Kwang'. Another actor has to dress up as `the devil' or evil spirit. Then candles and joss sticks would be lit up at Hua Kwang's altar and the actors would pray to him and inform him that they want to do the stage cleansing ritual.
Almost immediately, both actors fall into a trance. The Hua Kwang actor would chase after the `devil' actor around the stage, with a long spear. This would go on and on until the `devil' actor is chased off the stage (yes, he has to jump off the stage, which is about 5 ft high !). David has asked the actors if they were acting. They repeatedly denied having any control. In fact, once it was so bad, the actors quarrelled after the cleansing ritual, because the `devil' actor scolded his counterpart, `Are you crazy ? You nearly killed me back then!' After the ritual, a chicken is to be sacrificed to Hwa Kuang and all the actors have to use the blood to dot their foreheads as protection.
Chinese opera troupes have all sorts of superstitions. Musical instruments were considered sacred and not to crossed over. So were the costumes, boxes, props and headgears. Some words were forbidden and some things were forbidden. David explained that Chinese opera stories evolved around ancient Chinese history and legends. Those items represented heroes, deities, demi-gods, emperors, legendary figures and contained their aura. If the person's luck is not strong enough, disrespecting or offending them could have disastrous consequences.
David also told me Hwa Kwang is also his guardian deity, being a member of the opera troupe. He was like the `Guru' since David was a kid. I once asked him, `How does that help you ?' `Many ways' David replied.
When he first got involved as a child actor, he was very nervous. He prayed to Hwa Kwang for guidance. He remembered the first acting experience. He had butterflies in his stomach just before going out and he was about to run off the stage. He was only 11 years old at that time. The strange thing was, the moment he stepped out on the stage, all his fears disappeared and it went on smoothly. David insisted that it was his godfather guru, Hwa Kwang who gave him the courage.
He also said that Hwa Kwang protected him from evil spirits and even as a child, he was never afraid of the dark. Other than that, being able to sing Chinese opera, he had to refrain from cursing people for it could very well come true. Superstitions, superstitions and more superstitions..... I laughed and told David, `This is not going to bring you anywhere.... you can't get rich, you can't get happiness ... you can't even get a girlfriend.'
`But I can get peace of mind.......' That's my good old friend David.... do come back for more stories !!!
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Friday, August 1, 2008
To have or not to have ?
I was in one of my sentimental moods today...... after listening to Van Morrison's `Someone Like you'........ thinking to myself, if I ever find my soul mate, this is the song I would serenade....
Then someone asked me, `Hey, my friend is in trouble. She found out that her husband also swings the other way! She feels hurt but she doesn't want a divorce. What is she going to do ?' Phew! What a way to burst my yearning-for-romance bubble ! That's it. When you don't have it, you want it. When you have it, chances are, you might lose it anytime! And to the most unexpected rival! Hehehe! Don't mean to be mean.... but that's so ironical.
So, what do people like us who are still looking for it do ? Do we hide behind the walls of fear and say `No' to every opportunity ? Not that there are that many to begin with! Or do we try out every single one and remain immuned to all the failures ?
Problem is, it's different for men and women. If the men try out every single one, he's the stud, the eligible bachelor, the casanova, the hotshot of romance. For women, she's the slut, the `bandaraya' (town council rubbish dump), nympho, 2nd hand or 3rd hand goods, lelong girl, closing sale 90% off girl and more locally, the Bohsia (meaning no sound in Hokkien, cos they escape from the homes without any sound and anyone could have her) It sounds really wicked but that's the reality of it all.
And it's so unfair... but it has been like this for centuries. No amount of picketing or education is going to change that. Anyway, it's weird to have a rally for women to fight for equality in sex with the topic, `Don't label us as sluts when we have multiple partners!' So, it looks like it's going to stay awhile, at least in our lifetime... hehe! But I do notice, the trend seems to be changing these days....
And we can go on and blame the society, the tv, the movies, the internet, the parents, the uncles and aunties, the school, the hawker, etc, etc. But come to think of it...... it all boils down to we ourselves. Stop blaming everyone and everything and start re-examining ourselves.
The cards have been laid out on the table. The guys...... you could have as many as you want, but beware of STDs...... hehe! The ladies..... you know what people will call you if you are too `sociable'...... it's your call. I know, it's lame..... eeeiiw... even I can't stand myself right now but hey, I didn't make the rules. It's just an observation.
Back to our topic..... to have or not to have.... I have no solution to this. But there is something that I would like to share with you. It's based on a Buddhist principle. Attachment as against detachment. It's pretty complicated but I'v summarised it like this (at least, it's my understanding of it) :
To have love = attachment = suffering if you lose it
To have love = attachment = worrying you might lose it
Not to have love = detachment = suffering if you still want it
Not to have love = detachment = bliss if you really mean it
My solution to this
To have love = attachment = worrying you might lose it ~ be prepared to lose it even before you get attached. Have that `If I can take it up, I can let it go' attitude
To have love = attachment = suffering if you lose it ~ make the most of it while you can, so when you lose it, you don'feel like you were shortchanged. Notice I used `when' not `if'...... eventually, you WILL lose it.... unless Dracula takes a bite at you, you can't live forever, can you ?
Not to have love = detachment = suffering if you still want it ~ You want it, go and for it. Just be prepared for the above.
Not to have love = detachment = bliss if you really mean it ~ ata girl! That's the way to go...... you are heading for Nirvana.
So, it's really up to you.....goodluck !!!!
Then someone asked me, `Hey, my friend is in trouble. She found out that her husband also swings the other way! She feels hurt but she doesn't want a divorce. What is she going to do ?' Phew! What a way to burst my yearning-for-romance bubble ! That's it. When you don't have it, you want it. When you have it, chances are, you might lose it anytime! And to the most unexpected rival! Hehehe! Don't mean to be mean.... but that's so ironical.
So, what do people like us who are still looking for it do ? Do we hide behind the walls of fear and say `No' to every opportunity ? Not that there are that many to begin with! Or do we try out every single one and remain immuned to all the failures ?
Problem is, it's different for men and women. If the men try out every single one, he's the stud, the eligible bachelor, the casanova, the hotshot of romance. For women, she's the slut, the `bandaraya' (town council rubbish dump), nympho, 2nd hand or 3rd hand goods, lelong girl, closing sale 90% off girl and more locally, the Bohsia (meaning no sound in Hokkien, cos they escape from the homes without any sound and anyone could have her) It sounds really wicked but that's the reality of it all.
And it's so unfair... but it has been like this for centuries. No amount of picketing or education is going to change that. Anyway, it's weird to have a rally for women to fight for equality in sex with the topic, `Don't label us as sluts when we have multiple partners!' So, it looks like it's going to stay awhile, at least in our lifetime... hehe! But I do notice, the trend seems to be changing these days....
And we can go on and blame the society, the tv, the movies, the internet, the parents, the uncles and aunties, the school, the hawker, etc, etc. But come to think of it...... it all boils down to we ourselves. Stop blaming everyone and everything and start re-examining ourselves.
The cards have been laid out on the table. The guys...... you could have as many as you want, but beware of STDs...... hehe! The ladies..... you know what people will call you if you are too `sociable'...... it's your call. I know, it's lame..... eeeiiw... even I can't stand myself right now but hey, I didn't make the rules. It's just an observation.
Back to our topic..... to have or not to have.... I have no solution to this. But there is something that I would like to share with you. It's based on a Buddhist principle. Attachment as against detachment. It's pretty complicated but I'v summarised it like this (at least, it's my understanding of it) :
To have love = attachment = suffering if you lose it
To have love = attachment = worrying you might lose it
Not to have love = detachment = suffering if you still want it
Not to have love = detachment = bliss if you really mean it
My solution to this
To have love = attachment = worrying you might lose it ~ be prepared to lose it even before you get attached. Have that `If I can take it up, I can let it go' attitude
To have love = attachment = suffering if you lose it ~ make the most of it while you can, so when you lose it, you don'feel like you were shortchanged. Notice I used `when' not `if'...... eventually, you WILL lose it.... unless Dracula takes a bite at you, you can't live forever, can you ?
Not to have love = detachment = suffering if you still want it ~ You want it, go and for it. Just be prepared for the above.
Not to have love = detachment = bliss if you really mean it ~ ata girl! That's the way to go...... you are heading for Nirvana.
So, it's really up to you.....goodluck !!!!
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