Embarassing Moments.......

We go about our daily lives.... facing all the difficulties and frustrations. Sometimes, some things happen in the most peculiar moments, mostly funny but definitely embarsassing.. hehe! Here are some of those precious moments...... either through my own experience or told by my friends...

Biggest Loser

A friend of ours has always been trying to lose weight. Although we usually don't see much of a difference, he always insisted that he had lost a kilo or two. But just to humour him, we smiled politely and said, `Oh, I see....' One day, he decided to go that extra mile and appeared in his skinny jeans. We were so happy that his efforts finally paid off..... and one friend said, `Wow! Let's go celebrate!' After a hearty lunch, we walked to a supermarket.... and in front of a whole crowd, his skinny jeans burst open! Yes, buttons, zips and all! So much for his weight loss!

Nyonya Cakes

There was a group of friends who went out to a mammak stall and had teh-tarik there. One of the guys, ate a piece of nyonya cake. And while they were talking and laughing, one of the girls noticed something. She asked the guy who ate the cake, `Oh no, isn't that painful?' The guy asked, `Why ?' `Your teeth is stuck on the cake!' Apparently it was his denture.

Donation

Tim got a call that his grandma was very sick. So, he took the day off and rushed back to his hometown. Then John, his good friend called the office and the office told him that Tim was on emergency leave and his grandma was hospitalised. The next day, John was supposed to leave town and was afraid that he could not come back in time for the funeral and so, he went to Tim's house.

When John arrived at the house, it was dark and gloomy. He thought to himself, `Oh dear, the body is not in the coffin yet...' He didn't want to make a fuss and knocked at the door. Tim's sister appeared, eyes red and rubbing her nose with a tissue. So, John asked, `Where's Tim?' The sister answered, `He's making chicken curry' John said, `What? At this time he wants to make chicken curry? Anyway, I am rushing off to KL, can you just pass this donation money to Tim ? It's for the funeral expenses.'

The sister looked at his, surprised. `Huh ??? So fast ? Like this also can ar ?'

John insisted, `Aiyar... by the time you guys get everything ready, it should be just right. You can just write it for me la.... I have to leave for KL now!' `Er...er.......ok lor!' The sister still looked a bit confused but accepted the money anyway.

That night, Tim called John. `Hey, my sister told me you dropped by. What's the money for ?' `It's for the funeral expenses la.', John answered.

`And of all times, why do you still want to cook chicken curry?'
Tim answered, `Funeral expenses ? Why ?'
`It's for your grandma's funeral expenses, dumb ass!', answered John, trying to keep his cool.

`She's not dead yet la.....she's recuperating in the hospital'
`Huh ? Then why is your sister crying?'
`Oh...She wasn't crying, she's got flu'


Come back for more of such moments....... and if you have some embarassing moments you want to share, do let me know......

Waiting for Changes......

As I was driving back from supper today, somewhere between cars that mysteriously appeared at every junction which I arrived and thoughts about what's happening to me, it suddenly dawned on me. I am in a rut. I am fighting a losing battle. Yes, this is a depressing post. Note : If you are in a good mood, stop right here. If you want to feel sorry for yourself, continue reading.

I have been waiting. All my life, just waiting. Waiting to be rich. Waiting to have that six-packs. Waiting for that life partner. Waiting for a better tomorrow. Waiting for a better life. Waiting for a happier me. Waiting and hoping. Of course, none of it ever came true.... None!

Something's resisting it. It's like there's this whole big conspiracy.... all out to bring me down. Oh gosh... I'm talking nonsense. Or am I ? Every path which I walk, every entrance which I take, every road I cross, every shop I go to, every single thing I do.... something is there, just waiting to block me. You may say, `Oh, you are paranoid'. But I have demonstrated it to friends and they too were very amazed. Even at 3 a.m., on a remote road, I want to make a U-turn, comes a car zooming at me!

Do you know that, a person can be jobless for one whole year... and the moment I decided to hire her, the very next day, she gets hired by someone else ? Yes, it has happened, several times! And I have witnesses! Hehe!

Same goes with everything else in my life. What I want... is what everyone would `suddenly' must have and of course, I wouldn't even be close to getting it. You name it... parking place, queues, buying shrimps in the wet market (!!!), paying for groceries (suddenly everyone must buy from that same shop and would push their way to the counter, for cigarettes, sweets, candies... anything...as long as I get to wait)

The Malays call it `sial'... the Chinese people deem it as `bad luck'.... Yeah it is... in the extreme case. I try to be optimistic..... thinking about all the good things that happened in my life. I read somewhere yesterday....

In good times, people get to know you.
In bad times, you get to know people.

I find it very true.... cos that's the only good thing that came out of it all.... I really got to know some very good people. Thanks to all my friends.... I know you guys are reading this and you know who you are...

And by the way, from now onwards, I am no longer waiting for anything to happen.

I am going to make it happen! So,you want to give me a hard time eh ? Yeah, bring it on and do your worst, cos after so many years of disappointments, I am immuned to it. Now, it's my turn!!! So, watch out !!!

Divorce....

I received this email from a friend and found it really touching and meaningful....

To All Married Couples and To All Future Couples!!!!

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going cr az y. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain.

From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.

I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a su ita ble one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The sales girl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote: 'I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart'

The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do, you just might save a marriage. Relationships are made not to exploit, not to be broken.

We teach some by what we say

We teach some more by what we do

But we teach most by what we are
You don't get to choose how you are going to die, or when, but, you can decide how you are going to live, here and now.

Break-ups & Make-ups

It's happening all around me...... oh my! What's wrong? I asked myself as a friend told me of her unfaithful husband. One is not enough ? she asked.

Okay, okay... we are talking numbers here. Read my blog, I told her. I have a post that deals with men and their numbers. Heheh! Men are men are men. She looked surprised. You mean ALL MEN ??? I said, `Oh no, I didn't say that, not all men. Most men. The rest are monks, priests......' And she laughed. Hey, at least I got her to laugh!

Break-ups, as we all know it, are hard, especially on the one who got dumped. All those tenders moments shared that were so precious are now lost. As an old Mandarin song puts it so nicely.... like water flowing away in the river, never coming back. But how do we deal with it ?

Yes, we all want it to last, we all want forever. But fate deals with it in such a cruel way..... always cutting short the good things in life. Over the years, I have seen and heard many sad stories. It breaks my heart to see so many of my friends suffering and the worst part is, there is little that we can do to console them.

So, the best that we can do is to lend a shoulder to cry on. To lend an ear for listening. And give them some encouragemnet and hope. Having seen so many cases, there is one thing for sure. It gets easier everyday, especially when you have friends.

And being such a busybody, here are some quick do's and don'ts (hehehe! ~ Modern day thinking, go straight to the point!)

Don'ts

~ Don't hang on to the past. No matter how tempting it might be, don't. Always remember he (or she) was one part of your life and it's over. You can save in under the `Good Memories' folder or `Jerks of My Life' folder somewhere in the hardisk of your brain and that's it. So leave it as that. Think of it like, college. You have graduated from it, so now, move on and go find a job! You don't want to hang around the canteens, lecture halls and library and still refuse to graduate, can you ? So, move on.

~ Don't be revengeful. Some people resort to a life vendetta to destroy their ex's lives. Trust me, it's more destructive to you than your ex. In anycase, you would have wasted too much time, effort and money planning and executing the revenge. Your ex doesn't deserve your precious time, not anymore. so, don't waste any more time on him.

~ Don't resort to replacement therapy. Nope, give yourself time. Sometimes, some people just scramble to take on the next willing party, just to spite the ex or fill in the emptiness. And that ain't no way to fill your hole! (Ooops!!! Yes, it was intended! Hehehe!)

~ Don't let yourself go. Being dumped or cheated upon is really depressing. And usually, we tend to punish ourselves for it. Hello, other people may have punished you and but you must never punish yourself. Pick yourself up. Tell yourself, okay, I give you 3 days, you cry your heart out. At the end of the 3 days, this ends! It's like a `mourning' period, for the dead relationship. No, not for your dead ex (you wished it is, hehe!) but no.

~ Don't sleep around !!! Yes, cos if you do it's the best way to show your ex that you were never worth the trouble!!! It's tempting to `punish' him, but, in actual fact, you are hurting yourself even more. And he gets the last laugh..... don't give him that pleasure.

~ Don't do stupid things. That includes killing yourself, doing dangerous stuff like street racing, hiking Mt Everest or resorting to drugs or drinking yourself silly. Or worse, eating binge !!!! Arrrrggghhh!!!!!! There's a good good reason why these are categorised under `stupid'

Okay, enough of don'ts..... now the Do's

~ Do go for a makeover. If you can't afford a complete make-over, get your friends to help, they will be more than willing to do it for you. If not for the vanity (cos it is! Heheh)but for the symbolic, `New Me, New Life' Look at it like an overhaul. The zest of a new life and a new beginning is a powerful feeling and a wonderful one!

But you must remember. Keep re-inventing yourself, that way, you will become more dynamic and up-to-date.

~ Do make more friends and keep them. A lot of us lose our friends when we get attached and that's a dangerous thing to do. Friends constantly bring a new breath to our lives, new ideas, new experiences to share, new perspectives. It makes our lives more interesting and more importantly, it makes us more interesting so that our future partners will not get bored with us.

~ Do go for a holiday. Give yourself the much needed break. See the world, expand your horizons. You'll find that you have been living in such a shrouded life, same thing day-in day-out and began to realise. Hey, there's so much out there that I could have missed.

~ Do learn new things. Maybe it's time to go for that cooking class or that French class or singing class that you never had a chance to go. That in itself would be rewarding and besides, it can take your mind off some unmentionable peeople.

~ Do prepare yourself. If the next one comes around, you are prepared. Be more academic about it. List down all your faults (be honest) and see how you can prepare yourself or improve yourself. Don't give me the crap about `he has to accept me for what I am'.... that's an excuse for lazy people and usually they end up with those `give-me-free-also-I-don't-want' types.

So people, one thing for sure........Always remember, boyfriends or girlfriends come and go. Sometimes, even husbands and wives come and go. But friends and family are forever........

Susan Boyle syndrome

It was a usual morning for me.... coffee and sitting in front of the computer, bored. Then I saw this link to a singing sensation in Britain, and I said, `Oh, why not?'

It's this 47 year old lady, Susan Boyle being interviewed, all frumpy and the way the interview was heading, the first thought came to my mind...`Oh no, another William Hung? Poor girl, they're going to make a fool out of her!' Standing in front of a jeering audience and Simon's infamous condescending attitude didn't help either. Still defiantly maintaining her cool despite all the odds mounted in front of her, she signalled for her song to be played.

When she sang her first verse, I could feel the hair on my body standing and my tears began flow freely. Oh my....it was a breathtakingly beautiful experience. I watched the video over and over again.... at least 10 times. By now, that video has been viewed more than 12 million times! The last count was 6 hours ago and it stood at 11.3 million. That makes an average of more than 100,000 viewers per hour!

I wondered why ....why the obssesion over Susan Boyle's one song ? Why has it captivated so many people and so many times over with just one song ?

Film makers spend millions of dollars on one feel-good movie. Carefully planned plots, good looking A-list actors and after a multitude of misunderstandings and missed opportunities.... over 2 hours long, come the finale, which, should bring the audience to tears. If it does, then the movie is a success. Susan Boyle did the same in less than 5 minutes! Go figure!

Perhaps, what she had to go through on stage just before she sang hit home, for me, at least. All of us have been there before, at least I know I have. Being sneered at, being the odd-one-out, standing courageously in front of a jeering crowd and being unfairly judged. As she stood on the stage just before singing, I felt a pain in my heart. A helpless situation when I felt the world was against me and I had to keep my cool to do what I had to do.

And when she sang...... it was sweet revenge. The lotus that blooms out of the mud. Untouched, pure and beautiful despite the odds. In fact, this is very reason why the lotus is so sacred in Buddhism. Despite all difficulties and all undesirable elements, it is still unaffected and still blooms beautifully. I wept because I was happy for her.

But most of all, I wept because I saw hope, for me.......for maybe one day, my lotus will bloom.....

Do check out Susan Boyle on Youtube, and you will know what I mean.

Laughter....

Sometimes, life gets so draggy that I just want to escape. You know, a kit-kat break... but then, it's not always so convenient. So, I resort to remembering some jokes which I have read or heard before, yep, recycling jokes does help me to release some tension.... hehe! Hey, I am easy to please!

Here are some of my favourites, sent or told by friends.

Joke 1 ~ Drunk Woman

A couple walked into a bar and sat at a table. Then the husband pointed at a drunk woman sitting at the bar counter and told his wife proudly,` You know, that's my ex. Poor gal, took to drinking after we broke off and never got over me.'

The wife looked surprised, frowned and exclaimed, `My God! That's 20 years ! Who could go on celebrating for that long???!!!'

Joke 2 ~ Bad Day

A guy was sitting at a bar counter and his friend came in. Took his drink and gulped it down. Then the guy started crying. His friend said, `Hey, cool it man, I'll get you another, something's bothering you?'

The guy said between sobs, `Nothing seems to go right today. My car broke down and I was late for work. My boss sacked me becos of that and told me to clear my table. When I took a cab home, I left my wallet in it. When I reached home, I caught my wife in bed with the gardener. So I ran out of the house and came here to kill myself. And you drank the poison!'

Joke 3 ~ Life's Tragedies

Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.

Joke 4 ~ Eye Contact

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Joke 5 ~ Social Security

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'


Joke 6 ~ Mother-in-Law

Two guys were drinking at a bar. One of them said, `My mother-in-law is such an angel'

The other said, `You are lucky! Mine's still alive!'

Joke 7 ~ Laughter

Two guys were lost in a jungle and could not find their way out. In the darkness, they saw a light and went to the house to seek help. An old woman took them in but warned them not to disturb her beautiful daughter. Early the next morning, when the old woman went out to pick mushrooms, the men seduced her.

Halfway, the old woman appeared with a shot gun and pointed at them. `You ungrateful men! Now you have to pay with your lives!' The men pleaded to her and begged for a second chance. So, she said,` You can't escape without my help anyway. Okay, I'll give you one more chance, go to the jungle and bring back 10 fruits.'

They ran off to the jungle and the first one came back with 10 wild berries. The old woman said, `Now, shaft these wild berries up your arse. If you make any noise, I'll shoot you.' Paled with fear, that man slowly pushed the berries one by one up his ass. Just as he was pushing the 9th berry, he started laughing hysterically. Boom! He died.

In Heaven, God asked him, `Why did you laugh ? You could have saved your life !!!'

Still snickering, the man said,`I couldn't help it. I saw my friend bringing 10 durians!'


Enjoy !!!!!!

The Essentials.......

I was watching TV yesterday and there was this talk show about the 5C's that all the girls are looking for. In fact, this is not the first time I've heard about it..... some of my friends mentioned it before.

So, what exactly are these `C's ? Credit card, Condominium, Car, Certificate, Carats. Hmm... whatever happened to love ? Cos it doesn't start with a `c' ?

In that show, they were talking about financial security and stuff like that. But what is it, really ?

It's pride, a friend said. Pride ? Yeah, try bringing your boyfriend back to meet mum on a honda cup. Or even better, try bringing him back on foot from the LRT station. What will the neighbours say ? What will Auntie Sam Pat say ?

`Oh...your daughter is going out with that guy ? Wei, no car wor, can afford the dowry ar ? So, not worth it leh!!!' `Can feed the children meh ? You want to sponsor ar?'

Okay, okay, let's be fair..... I am sure all the aunties and relatives have some good intentions. But to a certain extend, it's true. I mean, come on, you can't even afford your own lifestyle, can you provide a better one for your family-to-be? These days, having a baby is a luxury. All those `milk powders 1,2 & 3' or the `everything in one milk' powders can be very expensive, it's like more than RM50 per tin which is good only for a week or so. And that's not counting disposable diapers, clothes, injections, lotions, shampoo, cradle, etc, etc. On the average, a baby needs about RM500-RM600 per month, maintenance only. Of course, as they grow bigger, it gets higher. Try having another one the next year! Hahahah! Phew! Let's not go into that.

Ok, back to our topic. One colleague recently told me,in view of the current credit crunch and economic crisis, the credit card has been changed to cash instead. Hahaha! Better to have cash on hand than credit you have to pay through, after you marry him.

So personality, caring attitude, lovingness, looks..... all don't count? It helps, she said. Just look at it as a `bonus'.... but then, this types are rare to come by. Hello? Good looking, caring, loving, good personality plus the 5c's and he's still single ? You've got to be kidding me. Oh yes, they do exist, but they prefer to check out my brother!

Well, not all of us need all the 5c's...... some of us do earn more than them. But then, we can never get anyone good, cos the men are just too proud to have their girlfriends earn more than them. The so-called, `guy thing, the unwritten rule. We have to find guys who earn more than us, so, imagine if you are the regional director of a MNC? Not many choices left. Only the dirty old businessmen or spoilt rich man's son.

What do the guys have to say about this ??? Ermm.... let me ask around first and update you people, ok ? So, for the time being..... work harder guys, you are expected to have the 5c's

Enjoy...........and don't take what I write too seriously, it's just for the fun of it!

Meaningful Quotes...

I was listening to Dionne Warwick one day… singing to the lyrics of the song, ‘I’ll never love this way again’ when it hit me. `A fool will lose tomorrow, reaching back for yesterday’

How nicely put… and it made me think…. Why am I spending time moaning and groaning over what people did to me? Instead, I should be spending my time doing something for myself, today, tomorrow and so on.

It’s funny how so much of self analysis, reasoning and endless excuses can be all made to look so silly with just one sentence. Thinking back, many of these quotes have somehow shaped the way I think… the words of the wise…….. some of them are of Buddhist origin.

Here are some quotes mixed with my interpretation, for you to ponder…….

`You yourselves must strive…. The teachers only show the way’.

Be kind to the helpless, be gentle to the young, be generous to the poor and needy, be respectful to the old, be understanding to the ignorant, be compassionate to your enemies…… for someday, you would have been all of these.

Do not do onto others, what you do not want others to do to you.

Live everyday of your life like it’s your last, for one day, it will come true.

Live your life to the fullest so when time is running short and you prepare for death, you’ll be glad that you have lived.

Let go of your past and your past will let go of you.

Though one may conquer a thousand men in a thousand battles, yet, the most victorious person is one who conquers himself.

When one mistakes the unessential to be essential and the essential to be unessential, dwelling in wrong thoughts, never arrives at the essential.

I do not see a useless old man. I see a man who once toiled to be the breadwinner of his family. I see a man who spent sleepless nights worrying about the welfare of his family. I see a man who has had his glorious days. I see wisdom from the lessons that life has taught him. Thus I do not see an old useless man. I see a man who has earned his right to be treated with love and utmost respect.

I do not see a useless old woman. I see a woman spent months laboring on her pregnancy. I see a woman who spent sleepless nights feeding her babies and caring for them till they could fend for themselves. I see a women who sacrificed for her family and stood by her husband through thick and thin. I see wisdom from all her experiences. Thus I do not see a useless old woman. I see a woman who has earned her right to be treated with love and utmost respect.

Within a stone is fire, if not hit, the sparks will not appear. Within the heart of a person is a Buddha, if not cultivated, it will not appear.

Life is like a highway. Don’t move too fast or too slow. There’s always someone ahead of you and there’s always someone behind you. Just move at a pace you are comfortable with and enjoy the ride

Be thankful that you are in the position to give, than to have to receive.

If you can’t love yourself, don’t expect others to.

Well, that’s a lot of pondering to do for the moment…… when I can remember more, I’ll share it with you guys…….. have a great life!

Somewhere.... over the rainbow.

Is faithfulness outdated ?

`It was never in fashion'.... quipped one friend, giving me the `Duh!' look. Okay, so, we are at battle stations, combat-ready zone. I took the risk of sounding stupid and just to spite her, I asked, `But why ????'

`Because men are pigs, that's why!'... then she realised I was teasing her and she gave me a dirty look and walked away.

Actually, a lot has been written about this subject but somehow, the situation never changes. Lots of people just like to sleep around these days, whether we care to admit it or not.

Now... let's look at `isolated cases'.... lest I am accused of generalising. There is a man who has five sons, and when DNA tested, only one of them is his. I have personally seen, the many going-ons in offices and other places of work. Married ladies flirting with handsome managers. Then we have the `milk-man' stories where the milk men delivered more than milk. Or the muscle-bound gardener or pool boy who did more than their fair share of maintenance.

On the other hand, as for the men.... well, there are legends and classics written about their infidelity! There are too many `isolated cases' to be mentioned here, I won't have enough space, nor the energy to type it all out. Suffice to say, anything that moves and sometimes, even those that don't really move, is enough to get the testorone surging.

Now, closer to home and more recent times, we have a normal married couple. After years of courtship, they decide to seal the relationship with a fantastic wedding. One year later, the husband is out on a prowl. Why ?

They say it's the animal instinct. In fact, recently, there was book written on it and was even talked about in Oprah's show. Why do men cheat ? I missed that episode though. I think sex is very different for a man compared to a woman. When the the testorone is raging, anything goes. Hahahahah!

And when the wife is not around, whatever is convenient would do. Sounds horrible? It's barbaric! Of course, we have been taught to be civilised about it. Most of us follow the rules, but most of us bend the rules. And for men, the best way is the most convenient and hassle free way. The `get-it-over-and-done-it' method. Why ? That's because the next surge is just around the corner. Hahhaha!

Just for the fun of it, let's examine some of the factors and reasons :

a)DIY ~ the last resort when absolutely nothing is available.

b)In a certain country, they have made it so convenient.... a vending machine! Yes! Drop your money and stick it in. Fast, hassle-free service! Just don't ask who is behind the machine doing the `service'! I heard those without teeth are usually the popular servicers. Talk about a smooth ride, hehehehe!

c)The oldest trade, no elaboration needed.

d)Colleagues. Other people's wives. It's safe (if you use protection, hehe!), it's free, it's no risk of obligation and in the unlikely event that she gets pregnant, she can claim it on her husband.

e)Other guys. Yes, other guys. Again, it's safe (again, if you use protection, hehe!), it's free, it's no obligation and no risk of pregnancy.

f) Mistress. well, you can only opt for this option if you can afford it. But if you are the type who can't stick to one, you'd better reconsider this option, they can threaten you with lots of stuff.

g) Polygamy ~ this is like so last century. Who can afford 50 kids and 5 houses these days ? And so many many responsibilities.... there's a good reason why it's so last century. Too much hassle, too heavy burden on finances, too many headaches and too many screaming kids. You won't have much energy to be unfaithful after that.

h) Pride. The playboy syndrome. Women are like trophies of virility.

i)Girls who flirt with you, fully aware that you are married. It's like a dream come true for most guys and saying `No' is not really the `guy thing' to do.

But hey, in fact, this is the single most common way that marriages break up, after mistresses, of course. Why do single girls go for married guys ?

I asked a friend once. Why ? She said, a matter of factly, `The handsome ones are all gays, the rich ones are after the rich man's daughters, the intelligent ones are with their university mates, the capable ones are overseas. The rest are either fat, ugly, uneducated, foul-smelling mouth, strong B.O., broke, living with mummy, psycho cases or... all of the above. So, what is there left ? Those rare few who are around, available or not, as long as they are willing ... are for grabs!'

So, whose fault is it anyway ? Should mother nature produce more guys so that there's a balance ? Or maybe, there are a few rare ones out there, all faithful and nice, the very very rare few. But then, they are so rare, there's not enough to go around, so that option is out.

I know, some of you may be offended by this article, but hey, I am just writing it for fun. Ask yourself, how true is it ?

C'mon..... this is not the end of the world. I am sure faithfulness still exists.... somewhere... over the rainbow...