Waiting for Changes......

As I was driving back from supper today, somewhere between cars that mysteriously appeared at every junction which I arrived and thoughts about what's happening to me, it suddenly dawned on me. I am in a rut. I am fighting a losing battle. Yes, this is a depressing post. Note : If you are in a good mood, stop right here. If you want to feel sorry for yourself, continue reading.

I have been waiting. All my life, just waiting. Waiting to be rich. Waiting to have that six-packs. Waiting for that life partner. Waiting for a better tomorrow. Waiting for a better life. Waiting for a happier me. Waiting and hoping. Of course, none of it ever came true.... None!

Something's resisting it. It's like there's this whole big conspiracy.... all out to bring me down. Oh gosh... I'm talking nonsense. Or am I ? Every path which I walk, every entrance which I take, every road I cross, every shop I go to, every single thing I do.... something is there, just waiting to block me. You may say, `Oh, you are paranoid'. But I have demonstrated it to friends and they too were very amazed. Even at 3 a.m., on a remote road, I want to make a U-turn, comes a car zooming at me!

Do you know that, a person can be jobless for one whole year... and the moment I decided to hire her, the very next day, she gets hired by someone else ? Yes, it has happened, several times! And I have witnesses! Hehe!

Same goes with everything else in my life. What I want... is what everyone would `suddenly' must have and of course, I wouldn't even be close to getting it. You name it... parking place, queues, buying shrimps in the wet market (!!!), paying for groceries (suddenly everyone must buy from that same shop and would push their way to the counter, for cigarettes, sweets, candies... anything...as long as I get to wait)

The Malays call it `sial'... the Chinese people deem it as `bad luck'.... Yeah it is... in the extreme case. I try to be optimistic..... thinking about all the good things that happened in my life. I read somewhere yesterday....

In good times, people get to know you.
In bad times, you get to know people.

I find it very true.... cos that's the only good thing that came out of it all.... I really got to know some very good people. Thanks to all my friends.... I know you guys are reading this and you know who you are...

And by the way, from now onwards, I am no longer waiting for anything to happen.

I am going to make it happen! So,you want to give me a hard time eh ? Yeah, bring it on and do your worst, cos after so many years of disappointments, I am immuned to it. Now, it's my turn!!! So, watch out !!!