Laughter....

Sometimes, life gets so draggy that I just want to escape. You know, a kit-kat break... but then, it's not always so convenient. So, I resort to remembering some jokes which I have read or heard before, yep, recycling jokes does help me to release some tension.... hehe! Hey, I am easy to please!

Here are some of my favourites, sent or told by friends.

Joke 1 ~ Drunk Woman

A couple walked into a bar and sat at a table. Then the husband pointed at a drunk woman sitting at the bar counter and told his wife proudly,` You know, that's my ex. Poor gal, took to drinking after we broke off and never got over me.'

The wife looked surprised, frowned and exclaimed, `My God! That's 20 years ! Who could go on celebrating for that long???!!!'

Joke 2 ~ Bad Day

A guy was sitting at a bar counter and his friend came in. Took his drink and gulped it down. Then the guy started crying. His friend said, `Hey, cool it man, I'll get you another, something's bothering you?'

The guy said between sobs, `Nothing seems to go right today. My car broke down and I was late for work. My boss sacked me becos of that and told me to clear my table. When I took a cab home, I left my wallet in it. When I reached home, I caught my wife in bed with the gardener. So I ran out of the house and came here to kill myself. And you drank the poison!'

Joke 3 ~ Life's Tragedies

Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.

Joke 4 ~ Eye Contact

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Joke 5 ~ Social Security

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'


Joke 6 ~ Mother-in-Law

Two guys were drinking at a bar. One of them said, `My mother-in-law is such an angel'

The other said, `You are lucky! Mine's still alive!'

Joke 7 ~ Laughter

Two guys were lost in a jungle and could not find their way out. In the darkness, they saw a light and went to the house to seek help. An old woman took them in but warned them not to disturb her beautiful daughter. Early the next morning, when the old woman went out to pick mushrooms, the men seduced her.

Halfway, the old woman appeared with a shot gun and pointed at them. `You ungrateful men! Now you have to pay with your lives!' The men pleaded to her and begged for a second chance. So, she said,` You can't escape without my help anyway. Okay, I'll give you one more chance, go to the jungle and bring back 10 fruits.'

They ran off to the jungle and the first one came back with 10 wild berries. The old woman said, `Now, shaft these wild berries up your arse. If you make any noise, I'll shoot you.' Paled with fear, that man slowly pushed the berries one by one up his ass. Just as he was pushing the 9th berry, he started laughing hysterically. Boom! He died.

In Heaven, God asked him, `Why did you laugh ? You could have saved your life !!!'

Still snickering, the man said,`I couldn't help it. I saw my friend bringing 10 durians!'


Enjoy !!!!!!