Break-ups & Make-ups

It's happening all around me...... oh my! What's wrong? I asked myself as a friend told me of her unfaithful husband. One is not enough ? she asked.

Okay, okay... we are talking numbers here. Read my blog, I told her. I have a post that deals with men and their numbers. Heheh! Men are men are men. She looked surprised. You mean ALL MEN ??? I said, `Oh no, I didn't say that, not all men. Most men. The rest are monks, priests......' And she laughed. Hey, at least I got her to laugh!

Break-ups, as we all know it, are hard, especially on the one who got dumped. All those tenders moments shared that were so precious are now lost. As an old Mandarin song puts it so nicely.... like water flowing away in the river, never coming back. But how do we deal with it ?

Yes, we all want it to last, we all want forever. But fate deals with it in such a cruel way..... always cutting short the good things in life. Over the years, I have seen and heard many sad stories. It breaks my heart to see so many of my friends suffering and the worst part is, there is little that we can do to console them.

So, the best that we can do is to lend a shoulder to cry on. To lend an ear for listening. And give them some encouragemnet and hope. Having seen so many cases, there is one thing for sure. It gets easier everyday, especially when you have friends.

And being such a busybody, here are some quick do's and don'ts (hehehe! ~ Modern day thinking, go straight to the point!)

Don'ts

~ Don't hang on to the past. No matter how tempting it might be, don't. Always remember he (or she) was one part of your life and it's over. You can save in under the `Good Memories' folder or `Jerks of My Life' folder somewhere in the hardisk of your brain and that's it. So leave it as that. Think of it like, college. You have graduated from it, so now, move on and go find a job! You don't want to hang around the canteens, lecture halls and library and still refuse to graduate, can you ? So, move on.

~ Don't be revengeful. Some people resort to a life vendetta to destroy their ex's lives. Trust me, it's more destructive to you than your ex. In anycase, you would have wasted too much time, effort and money planning and executing the revenge. Your ex doesn't deserve your precious time, not anymore. so, don't waste any more time on him.

~ Don't resort to replacement therapy. Nope, give yourself time. Sometimes, some people just scramble to take on the next willing party, just to spite the ex or fill in the emptiness. And that ain't no way to fill your hole! (Ooops!!! Yes, it was intended! Hehehe!)

~ Don't let yourself go. Being dumped or cheated upon is really depressing. And usually, we tend to punish ourselves for it. Hello, other people may have punished you and but you must never punish yourself. Pick yourself up. Tell yourself, okay, I give you 3 days, you cry your heart out. At the end of the 3 days, this ends! It's like a `mourning' period, for the dead relationship. No, not for your dead ex (you wished it is, hehe!) but no.

~ Don't sleep around !!! Yes, cos if you do it's the best way to show your ex that you were never worth the trouble!!! It's tempting to `punish' him, but, in actual fact, you are hurting yourself even more. And he gets the last laugh..... don't give him that pleasure.

~ Don't do stupid things. That includes killing yourself, doing dangerous stuff like street racing, hiking Mt Everest or resorting to drugs or drinking yourself silly. Or worse, eating binge !!!! Arrrrggghhh!!!!!! There's a good good reason why these are categorised under `stupid'

Okay, enough of don'ts..... now the Do's

~ Do go for a makeover. If you can't afford a complete make-over, get your friends to help, they will be more than willing to do it for you. If not for the vanity (cos it is! Heheh)but for the symbolic, `New Me, New Life' Look at it like an overhaul. The zest of a new life and a new beginning is a powerful feeling and a wonderful one!

But you must remember. Keep re-inventing yourself, that way, you will become more dynamic and up-to-date.

~ Do make more friends and keep them. A lot of us lose our friends when we get attached and that's a dangerous thing to do. Friends constantly bring a new breath to our lives, new ideas, new experiences to share, new perspectives. It makes our lives more interesting and more importantly, it makes us more interesting so that our future partners will not get bored with us.

~ Do go for a holiday. Give yourself the much needed break. See the world, expand your horizons. You'll find that you have been living in such a shrouded life, same thing day-in day-out and began to realise. Hey, there's so much out there that I could have missed.

~ Do learn new things. Maybe it's time to go for that cooking class or that French class or singing class that you never had a chance to go. That in itself would be rewarding and besides, it can take your mind off some unmentionable peeople.

~ Do prepare yourself. If the next one comes around, you are prepared. Be more academic about it. List down all your faults (be honest) and see how you can prepare yourself or improve yourself. Don't give me the crap about `he has to accept me for what I am'.... that's an excuse for lazy people and usually they end up with those `give-me-free-also-I-don't-want' types.

So people, one thing for sure........Always remember, boyfriends or girlfriends come and go. Sometimes, even husbands and wives come and go. But friends and family are forever........

Susan Boyle syndrome

It was a usual morning for me.... coffee and sitting in front of the computer, bored. Then I saw this link to a singing sensation in Britain, and I said, `Oh, why not?'

It's this 47 year old lady, Susan Boyle being interviewed, all frumpy and the way the interview was heading, the first thought came to my mind...`Oh no, another William Hung? Poor girl, they're going to make a fool out of her!' Standing in front of a jeering audience and Simon's infamous condescending attitude didn't help either. Still defiantly maintaining her cool despite all the odds mounted in front of her, she signalled for her song to be played.

When she sang her first verse, I could feel the hair on my body standing and my tears began flow freely. Oh my....it was a breathtakingly beautiful experience. I watched the video over and over again.... at least 10 times. By now, that video has been viewed more than 12 million times! The last count was 6 hours ago and it stood at 11.3 million. That makes an average of more than 100,000 viewers per hour!

I wondered why ....why the obssesion over Susan Boyle's one song ? Why has it captivated so many people and so many times over with just one song ?

Film makers spend millions of dollars on one feel-good movie. Carefully planned plots, good looking A-list actors and after a multitude of misunderstandings and missed opportunities.... over 2 hours long, come the finale, which, should bring the audience to tears. If it does, then the movie is a success. Susan Boyle did the same in less than 5 minutes! Go figure!

Perhaps, what she had to go through on stage just before she sang hit home, for me, at least. All of us have been there before, at least I know I have. Being sneered at, being the odd-one-out, standing courageously in front of a jeering crowd and being unfairly judged. As she stood on the stage just before singing, I felt a pain in my heart. A helpless situation when I felt the world was against me and I had to keep my cool to do what I had to do.

And when she sang...... it was sweet revenge. The lotus that blooms out of the mud. Untouched, pure and beautiful despite the odds. In fact, this is very reason why the lotus is so sacred in Buddhism. Despite all difficulties and all undesirable elements, it is still unaffected and still blooms beautifully. I wept because I was happy for her.

But most of all, I wept because I saw hope, for me.......for maybe one day, my lotus will bloom.....

Do check out Susan Boyle on Youtube, and you will know what I mean.

Laughter....

Sometimes, life gets so draggy that I just want to escape. You know, a kit-kat break... but then, it's not always so convenient. So, I resort to remembering some jokes which I have read or heard before, yep, recycling jokes does help me to release some tension.... hehe! Hey, I am easy to please!

Here are some of my favourites, sent or told by friends.

Joke 1 ~ Drunk Woman

A couple walked into a bar and sat at a table. Then the husband pointed at a drunk woman sitting at the bar counter and told his wife proudly,` You know, that's my ex. Poor gal, took to drinking after we broke off and never got over me.'

The wife looked surprised, frowned and exclaimed, `My God! That's 20 years ! Who could go on celebrating for that long???!!!'

Joke 2 ~ Bad Day

A guy was sitting at a bar counter and his friend came in. Took his drink and gulped it down. Then the guy started crying. His friend said, `Hey, cool it man, I'll get you another, something's bothering you?'

The guy said between sobs, `Nothing seems to go right today. My car broke down and I was late for work. My boss sacked me becos of that and told me to clear my table. When I took a cab home, I left my wallet in it. When I reached home, I caught my wife in bed with the gardener. So I ran out of the house and came here to kill myself. And you drank the poison!'

Joke 3 ~ Life's Tragedies

Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.

Joke 4 ~ Eye Contact

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Joke 5 ~ Social Security

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'


Joke 6 ~ Mother-in-Law

Two guys were drinking at a bar. One of them said, `My mother-in-law is such an angel'

The other said, `You are lucky! Mine's still alive!'

Joke 7 ~ Laughter

Two guys were lost in a jungle and could not find their way out. In the darkness, they saw a light and went to the house to seek help. An old woman took them in but warned them not to disturb her beautiful daughter. Early the next morning, when the old woman went out to pick mushrooms, the men seduced her.

Halfway, the old woman appeared with a shot gun and pointed at them. `You ungrateful men! Now you have to pay with your lives!' The men pleaded to her and begged for a second chance. So, she said,` You can't escape without my help anyway. Okay, I'll give you one more chance, go to the jungle and bring back 10 fruits.'

They ran off to the jungle and the first one came back with 10 wild berries. The old woman said, `Now, shaft these wild berries up your arse. If you make any noise, I'll shoot you.' Paled with fear, that man slowly pushed the berries one by one up his ass. Just as he was pushing the 9th berry, he started laughing hysterically. Boom! He died.

In Heaven, God asked him, `Why did you laugh ? You could have saved your life !!!'

Still snickering, the man said,`I couldn't help it. I saw my friend bringing 10 durians!'


Enjoy !!!!!!