Big Mouth Me.....

Recently I have been making a lot of comments on the happenings around us in the local news sites. Then it occurred to me.... Oh Daniel, you are doing it again! So what if you can see things differently from others ? Nobody asked for your opinion, so keep it to yourself! Or should I ?

Over the years, I have been punished for saying the right things to the right people at the right time.... Some people hated me for it, some people appreciated the candor. Many times, those people who hated me for it made sure I got severely punished. Examples are following me around for one whole month to puncture my tyres wherever I parked my car (that's more than 30 visits to the tyre shops, on foot!), public humiliation, black magic (sleepless nites with spirits partying in my body for 8 whole years), loss of friendship, horrible nicknames.. just to mention a few. Yeah, story of my life!

I chatted with someone last year and he told me this, `I am telling the truth, so if the truth hurts, just too bad. But you can't run away from the truth and you have to face it even if it hurts!'

Then, I got all `wise and old' ... pretty sure about the latter, unsure about the former... and told him, `Most of the time, people already know the truth, they just don't want to admit it. You may be telling the truth, but what gives you the right to hurt people's feelings?' At that time, I felt like I was deriding myself... yeah rite, say who's talking ? The biggest big mouth of all time telling others they don't have the right to hurt other people's feelings. Suddenly, I felt sick in my stomach...Oh gosh, I am a MONSTER !!!

I lost an old friend last year, when I playfully messaged him to tell him... `Hey, don't you think putting your age at 30 is stretching the truth a little too much ?' No doubt, it's a difference of 18 years (yes, Eighteen!) but I really don't know why I was such a busybody... I thought our friendship could withstand anything, but sadly, it couldn't. So, he got all defensive and told me how wrinkled my face was, etc and although I apologised profusely, the damage had been done and that was the end of our friendship.. I guess I deserved it, stepping on someone's tail for no reason.

Then there was this guy. He claimed to be gay and told me he was desperately looking for a boyfriend. So, I told him `Fine, good luck with your pursuit'. Then he continued to tell me that he wanted to get married and have children. I was like, `Huh ?' First you tell me you want a boyfriend and then now you tell me you want to marry a girl and have children? Exactly what do you want ? Gosh, these fellas are a confused lot. Of course, he angrily told me I was a racist and all sorts of other unmentionables. Is my thinking too backward or we are facing a new era of `acceptable' behavior which I am not aware of ? They actually want to have fun with as many guys as possible and then get married to have childen cos it's a `obligation' to the family and religion... and then, make the wife pregnant and continue to have fun with other guys, while still being married. Gosh... that's a lot to take in, even for me. And from chatting with so many people, it's RAMPANT !!!

Again, me and my big mouth got me into trouble... this time, being accused of being a racist, old-fashioned uncle and narrow-minded freak. I guess, it's `not right' for me to impose my values on others.... no matter how right I think it is. Still, at the back of my mind, I find it hard to rationalize it even with my most liberal of thinking. Oh well, it's his life... let him face the consequences.

I have learnt over the years, that sometimes, it's better not to let people know what they were doing wrongly. Some things are best learnt through experience, bitter experience. For some people, when you tell them, `Hey, you are going the wrong way... there's a big hole in front of you.' They will simply ignore you and even scold you for it. So, the best solution would be to let them go on their happy ways, fall into the big hole, hopefully, not so badly injured... and then, realise, hey, there IS really a big hole in front of me. That's when they will really learn. Of course, for some people, they have to fall a few times before they realise it... well, not everyone is that smart. The real tragedy would be those people around them, who have had to fall and suffer together with the thick-headed numbskull.

You can say at this point, that I am, in some ways, a thick-headed numbskull too. Overly-opinionated, irritatingly righteous and pathetically lonely. After falling into many many holes and crawling out all ego-bruised and full of remorse, I have learnt to try to keep my opinions to myself.... I have learnt to be more `diplomatic' in my approaches although I must admit, it's really really hard for me to fake liking a person or something. I know it's a breeze for some people but it takes real effort for me, so usually, I keep my distance so I don't have to fake anything. But that also means I don't have many friends. The few close friends who have been gems in my life are the only ones who come to me when they needed `an unbiased' view.

As the wise one once said, `When you see things clearly as they really are, not what people tell you to see, not what the general opinion is or not what it pretends to be, you can also see how to solve the problems associated with it.' But the wise one forgot to mention.... it's a lonely path to walk !