When the sun sets on you.....

Yesterday, my friend, Tim and I went out for lunch. While driving in my neighborhood, we saw a house up for sale. Tim told me that he was looking for a house and we decided to call the number. The owner wanted to sell it for RM400,000.00. Wow ! Didn’t know the houses in my area could command such a high price! Anyway, after some haggling, he told us that the price was negotiable. I asked Tim, `Why do you need another house? You already have one that’s worth close to a million ringgit. ‘ He told me that it was his father’s house, shared by his siblings. He wanted something for himself, for old age.

I didn’t like the direction which our conversation was going… the old age direction. But we joked about having friends live together, all old and senile and at least, having some company. And we left it at that. But, that thought kept gnawing at the back of my mind. Something I don’t want to think about .. although the reality is, it’s something I have to face up to, one day, and all too soon. Fine, bring it on!

Ok, let’s say, we all have children. The ideal picture would be, having our children, children-in-laws, grandchildren…all happy and doing everything together! So many happy faces! Wow, that would be great! Sadly, that only happens in HK soap-operas and only at the series finale. Now, reality check. How many of us want to live with our parents these days, married or not ? Some still do… free accommodation, free meals, free baby-sitter. Of course, after a while, usually the wife will insist on moving out after she realizes that her mother-in-law still dotes on her son. In the end, it’s an empty nest, no matter how many children you have.

Just last week, an old man who just got checked out of a hospital, travelled 300 miles to meet his son. Haiz…the things we do for our children……. A few hours after the meeting the father, the son drove him to a place of worship and just abandoned him there. OMG !

Okay, okay… this article is not about being filial, we’ll deal with that another time. Sometimes, I look at some old people. Feeble, weak .. nevertheless, always a kind smile. They used to be `someone’. He used to be a breadwinner, she used to mrs. multi-tasker in the house or a super sales agent or high ranking officer or nurse.

Time can be cruel sometimes… fading out all our accomplishments. Now we are just old, senile and weak…no matter what we were before that.

How do you deal with that? How do we grow old with dignity? A lot of our younger generation do not know how to respect people who are older than them. They think too highly of themselves and they think that being rebellious and sarcastic is equivalent to being smart and quick witted. I encountered one such rascal last year. I was chatting in a common chatroom and I saw this guy scolding another guy. `You are old and useless, you shouldn’t be chatting here. You should just get ready to die gracefully. Old! Old! Old! Bloody old goose! Gosh… I wouldn’t want to be that old!’ The other guy just kept quiet, defeated by something he couldn’t help, old age.

When I see stupidity of such epic proportions, my evil twin breaks out in fury. Fighting my rage , I calmly asked the boy, `So, how old is old ?’ He said, `Anyone above 35yo is old.’ I continued, `And you don’t want to grow old?’ He answered, `Of course, I m still young.’ Then I answered him, much to the surprise and amusement of the whole chatroom, `Yes, it’s quite obvious that you are still very very young, especially in the way you think. But let’s make your wish come true. Let us all pray, day and night, all year round…to all the Gods of all of the religions, that you may never grow older than 35. Not a day, a minute or a second older than 35 years of age.’ Then, obviously confused, he asked, `So what happens after that?’. Gotcha! Then, like triumphant wicked witch, I laughed sinisterly and proclaimed, `Hahahahaha! My dear boy, like it or not, you die!’ The whole chatroom cheered !

In retrospect, I realized, I was this vicious because, I too am older than 35 years. I guess he must have pressed all the right buttons to trigger me off like that. You don’t have to tell me I am old, I know I am old, so mind your own business and back off! I didn’t see that one coming though. Some people may view my reaction to it as being immature, but I think otherwise. Being matured doesn’t mean you have to sit around and allow others to punch and kick you till you are almost dead before you react, nature is already doing a great job at the dying part. And I have done my fair share of walking away. Some people just can’t be educated, when you tread on dangerous grounds, be prepared for the worse. I mean, as it is, we have to deal with failing health, slowing metabolism, wrinkles, falling teeth, aching joints, cholesterol, high blood pressure, etc, etc… and still have to put up with insolent foul-mouthed guys like this? No way!

I used to always feel like the victim…. Perpetually in the victim mode, but no more. Now, I am the predator, the aggressor. Come old age or smartass idiots, I will fight them off with no mercy. Or maybe I will learn to be more subtle, less ruthless and kinder… hehehe! May we all have the strength, health and wisdom to live through our sunset days…….with happiness, serenity and meditative composure. Here’s something which I learnt from my meditation :


All our lives, we have strived for.....
Wealth & Ownership
Beauty & Pleasures
Fame & Power
And yet, in the end, what we truly own… is our karma.